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Wanna Buy Beats? - Volume 1

by Schooly Bus presents Former Fat Boys

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $9 USD  or more


holy shit, this is incredible how did they know i've always wanted to be a rapper, always wanted to flow over hot beats made by the top producers and look at this guy's page he isn't just friends with losers like me his profile of has pictures of snoop and jkwon and eminem and akon i'll probably get rained on if i record on one his beats i'll probably get played on that suburban local podcast run by my friend john cash thrown at me, myspace howard hughes i'll be able to buy new condoms and not reuse let's see should i buy an east coast beat or a dirty south banger or a dr. dre clone cuz i'm a west coast player so many choices each one better than the next shit these beats are awesome they sounds like every radio hit they change a few notes and its mine for ten bucks hey look, buy one beat get one free plus guaranteed sluts just pop out the amex yeah i got an amex cuz i applied online and i make ontime payments 1% back on everything, 5% on groceries and gas and i got it cuz i'm a baller and they know i get ass
i'd download a car i'd download a boat i'll download anything cuz man i'm broke i'd download a mouse i'd download a house i'd download a chair and a matching couch if you can make it zeroes and ones and i can print it out i don't fucking care, i'll download a cow i'd download a spaceship fly to the stars i'd download cologne i'd download a car i'm on the net from the rise to sunset i'm bored and broke and the day ain't begun yet got a 15 megabit connection to free stuff you wanna ride, grab ya laptop and surf's up head to http www Tee Pee Bee go on an isohunt DL an NZB download Twilight 3, in 1080p from a workprint release smuggled by DGs the unsung bothans of the piracy scene they ds9 unseen, so we call em the breen you got a puny e-penis compared to scene kids who've already seen it and by it, I mean everything happenin your hundred million dollar turd starring hugh jackman right now I'd be drunk if I could download captain and coke, but that's just a distant hope that we'll replicate matter from a port in our homes Dre's Detox will leak, i'll crank it thru foobar and i'll download rum, and a whole bar and i'll download free gas while I unrar my new car science will figure it out, can't be too hard i'd download a car i'd download a boat i'd download your mom then upload to her throat and do the same with Jenna Jame and Taylor Rain you could say i downloaded brain i'd download a bat suit and then download joker i'd download edward cullen then bram stoker and watch him kick some twilight ass i'd download david duke and photoshop him black they call us millennials, we got excess degrees crushed by student loans we don't just want it free we got a need, we're bout to bleed demographically, most unemployed group in half a century raised on mcmansions and credit cards laptop rappers now we're saving in jars so it's back to mom and dad's they don't really want us back but their pads got wifi and so we eek by arrested development, lost season 4, 5, and so on, and so forth and so pissed as o's stimulus goes to districts that don't exist this system is wishin on population growth but we're shrinking and consumption chokes then there's less jobs for us younger folks debt's a noose, we'll be in debt hope which is why, no joke, we'd download soap i'd download a car i'd download a boat i downloaded 12 seasons of murder she wrote i'd download spongebob kazoos and party favors i'd download baskin robbins 31 flavors and a new pair of addidas rod lavers i'd download the 69 celtics and lakers i'd download a submarine and play captain nemo then some 3-D glasses and see captain EO those of us with jobs are blessed, but what about the rest stimulus checks don't exactly future protect but if I learned anything from picard and la forge is that one day we'll replicate what we can't afford and everything will be free and every English degree can download a living and a pool to go swimming and all the snooty classic lit and history kids won't be shoutin they took our jobs at asian kids and us business students at our class reunions we'll all download bentley's and real fine suits download gorgeous blonde porn star prostitues, I mean escorts, maybe we'll be on ships and fight borgs for now we're suburban brats with big dreams when even jay-z's gotta wear some girls jeans won't fear RIAA, if my dreams come true we'll have to face the wrath of the UAW when we... i'd download a car i'd download a boat i'd download a goa'uld and be it's new host i'd download a goat i'd download a ghost i'd download a castle and piranha filled moat download everything that my eyes can see maybe a t-rex from jurassic park site c i'd download a cave then i'd be brave download osama bin laden as a slave be depraved give him to the goat to ram I'd download Aerosmith and watch em jam i'd download some ice cold surge from 1998 i'd download the world's greatest pb and j if you can make it zeroes and ones and i can print it out i don't fucking care, i'll download a cow i'd download the graduate by mc lars i'd download a robot i'd download a car
Space Chair 03:50
Nerdapalooza 04:37
it's a nerdpalooza a bunch of grade school losers taunted and teased we grew up to be cooler i'm about to move ya i'm about to groove ya so put your hands up it's a nerdapalooza come on scream oooh ahh hands up in the club if ya nerdy if you coding the next google in your basement and you're 30 and you're living at home with your mom but you bout to be richer than little steve jobs gimme a shout if they kicked you around pushed you down but you grew up and you're running this town making cash from the cloud kickin back on your boat targeting lasers on they house countin cash while they broke cuz little johnny nerd life got the hot wife and he got his own bodygaurds now you wanna fight? like daniel larusso taking elizabeth shoe home they wish they'd got smart like a spy with a shoe phone i graduated, some nerds just posers rappers in frontalot glasses, bunch a jokers co-opting nerd fashion for cash ain't kosher that's why i'm putting it down now for an army of coders i want to tell you a story once upon there was this kid who liked action figures and magic cards he was a little overweight he didn't have friends he got pushed punched and kicked around the playgroud he preferred the computer lab one day he got in shape put on some headphones and grew up to become the greatest rapper in the world throw up your spock hands both or do it solo han raise em to the clouds like your name was calrissian reference something obscure quote something no one's heard or cast a fucking spell and laugh while their fucking village burns +15 now you're on the right track you're growing a sack now show you can hack like you don't give a frak surprise barack whitehouse.gov is now nerds.cum like movvvvve you're dumb i'm not done stickam whores hum cuz they all want some torrents done faye reagan on my thumb you wanna come cuz it's so yum so plug it in unplug the car faye on the dash watch that so i drive hard old school chozo on the radio wave to lady hoes while they strip out they cosplay clothes from the con where they went dressed as the baroness i was destro, let's go nerds get ridiculous
yo its 30% off on beats at the beat mart and you'll stock up on three or more if you're street smart beat packages, professionalicious beat deals you'll be a hip-hop superstar you'll be so real beats for you sister, beats for your cousin beats for a dolla, beats man beats for nothin welcome to the bakery, there's hot beats in the oven and no purple shits if you eat these beatsin case you were wondering we're contacting you directly through our friendblaster pro messaging you from an account we most likely stole but check the millions of plays thats how you know we're legit currently on special buy a beat and get a thousand hits with a message like that i can hardly resist quiet the inner cynic ignore carpal tunnel pain in my wrist and click and order quick, i want those free hits i wanna sip sizzurup, i wanna hot mix i'll write one rap about guns one rap about drugs one rap about guns and drugs in the clubs one rap about parties obliged to rhyme with bicardi one rap name dropping pac even though he didn't know me i'd like to think he'd probably have been my myspace pal and i'd of spammed his myspace comments if he allowed html cuz i'd steal pac's fans with a shitty photobucket banner that sucks they'd all download my new jam Sluts Shakin Butts
they say to rock the neighborhood change your home and if you're house is glass you better hold your stones and if you're home alone, and hear my tone its time to be a man, act full grown cuz all the animostity takes it toll i got an extreme make over for your soul we need an extreme make over for the soul this an extreme make over for your soul i ain't been to prison but I done a bunch of crimes I ain't got a lot of dollars but i got a lot of dimes ain't got a fancy watch but i gotta lot of time i ain't good at writing beats but i can fucking rhyme i put lamborghini doors on my 97 neon and i got buzz for light years to infiinity and beyond and y'all more simplistic than bunch a fucking heathens i got more sides to me than a dodecahedron they call me sucksex baby cuz I suck at sex naw, just kidding cuz I suck the best breasts on chests on girls that never used to look my way now it's a sunny day, sweeping clouds away formerly fat just trying be formerly famous i'll be a one hit wonder then gladly the lamest lemme get a lil eloquent, speak a little beautifully preach a little promise, encourage a little unity put your hands up if you're feeling alive and if you're not too cool go on give a high five and if you feeling a lil angry go on swallow your pride lemme be your guide let's rebuild ourselves on the inside making so much noise they gonna call the police got my piece of shit ride cuz i ain't go no lease sitting on my porch rap-rapping to dope beats kids biking in the streets, a million little opie's pass a smile on and see where it goes if you're moving really fast, stop, breathe, smell a rose treat her like a lady, not like a ho do what's right, instead of listening to polls and who knows, one day the sun may shine brighter every friendship may be a little tighter study a little harder, pull an all nighter train a little longer, be a better fighter pick your battles don't get lost fighting wars don't drown in whores, lose your savings at scores don't dismiss the poor cuz one day you may be more needy if your job don't need you any more please don't ask me for a cigarette you shouldn't fucking smoke please don't ask me to drop a verse you're a fucking joke this ain't that kinda party, i got pepsi not coke don't come backstage for groupie love, you'll prolly choke if you got a million bucks make it rain cuz time's flying like doc brown on his train even scrooge mcduck with all of his luck and brains went to the moon but couldn't take his money pit to the grave
give us you money Give us you cash Give us your money we won't give it back then give us your girlfriends give us your wives they'll dump your ass for our twenties and fives give us you money Give us you cash Give us your money we won't give it back give us your daughters down on all fours a little cash and they all become whores give me your cash i'll give it back lower the deficit fast increase my taxes or i just might drop my pants and whip out the future so what you gonna do sir? the rack in the back after the fact i'm hittin that in that short skirt twerk twerk she gon make it squirt squirt do it like we're ernie and bert her friend jumps in berzerk whips off her shirt we share her like dessert so fund my dreams gimme me money like you were tithing at your church they say my behavior is likely to endanger myself and others but i recover under covers of hundred dollar bills and pills and thousand dollar lovers and i'm so ridifferent i combine words, i'm mothers worst nightmares but who cares, it's bout who stares gold plated platinum platinum plated diamonds who cares where they mine is so cold, gave her so much ice she let me frost her eyelids shut with my kids now shut your fucking faces cut off your bracelets dad's working late shifts mom's rockin facelifts i already had her taste this then squirtled on her fake tits in your basement, she drove me home in the minivan, shameless let them underage hoes get shitfaced its jack daniels with braces it was your mom, don'tcha worry about aids miss i got a benneton heart and my dick ain't racist gimme white girls black girls and a mix of asians one day we'll get married, it starts with a first kiss promise, make your way lower, it's ok, i'm so rich don't worry about breakouts, i hear it clears zits now blow the candle, and you can make a wish
she's been my baby boo since like 2002 like before anyone knew montag would get boobs we never separate always having sex and shit she was always loving only my ejaculate i just want you to hold me cuz baby you're the only one who knows me baby you're my one and only i said baby hold me that's one she told me she smashed the homie i saw the tape on that internet you can't deny the evidence you just a guilty bitch i don't care that we hand't met yet you done fucked a man's best friend how am i supposed to act you said love you, ain't that a pact girl the re's this thing called trust if i'm gon put it in your butt gotta know you ain't had bros nuts bust all in you like a slut it hurts deep just like a cut that i'm first base just like a bunt and before me he was all uhh uhh and you were all uuuhh uhh home runs he's my homie girl you only blow me girl he's there when i slam dunk he's there when i get drunk and when i'm down on luck he's the one that picks me up and it turns out you two fucked all the way back in 2001 he looks into my eyes he ain't just onne of the guys you had no fucking right to take it from him that one night it ruins everything between us, he haunts this place when i mount you girl, now i only see his face
brush yo teef Get em real clean make sure you floss up in between bacteria in my mouth always highjackin wanna shut me down keep my tongue from wagging braggin still sleepy, still laggin grab a toothbrush to kill the dragon whoosh breath that breath so fresh nice clean smile courtesy of crest listen to the dentist his advice is best tooth superman, dds on his chest cuz he say everyday gotta floss and brush stick to h 2 aqua skip the grape crush brush after breakfast, dinner, and lunch anytime you eat even if it's just cunts pour one out for william addis invented the toothbrush from jail, dude is the baddest and when shit goes crooked gotta rock some braces two crowns before 30, listen up this ain't fake kids i love that green, you know i'm the boss food can't stay stuck when i weild my floss slip in to the pink, my gums get down it's almost like i got a g-string in my mouth mouth so dirty like i been licking butts toothbrush in so i hit it with suds let osmosis jones heal my tooth bones i don't mess around cuz novamin owns got my burt's bees paste so organic and my flouride paste vary how i'm attackin it brush 3 times a day clear that plaque away keep germs at bay its a listerene day the only three cavaties I ever want filled are in my hot lil dentist baby come here and get drilled cuz she'll canal your roots if you abuse your tooths her nice boobs don't mask the pain listen to the truth
Fergalicious 04:13
yo this is the space dino, calling you from my space phone where you at dog, seems like you're never phone i've been calling you long distance like each and every day i got old space toys to sell you on space ebay i got dinosaur condoms you can use as summer homes in the hamptons and if the kennedy's get mad i'll make them eat their bones cuz i got space recipes for rich people soup i bought from steven tyler, eat the rich means gold poop that's how i bought my first transporter i paid in gold shit got the second one free and the third i didn't really wanna see it but the reason why i'm calling is to save you from yourself humans have polluted the earth, there's nothing you can do to help space dinos will return from the asteriod exhile and if you want to save yourself send me a torrent of the x-files and write a song ever about dinos from the moon and make sure to sing the hook and if you can't sing use autotune cuz i forgot to mention we're all robots robot space dinos and we're all in frats, brobots and we all have space cocks
butter on my popcorn but I had to off her butts was a charger butthead was a baller goin to gwar and serious shit You caught me but I'm verbal kent butters on south park butter on corn butte montana butt is in porn alexis texas butterbean butterball turkey vaseline you can't fuck a butt as fast as me farts smell rough magic clean butthole surfers butthole wax bottle service butt of kat stacks anal retentive anal beads anal warts an anal feast Butt steak butt steak rump roast Make no mistake I dump most If I was Ike I'd fire tina take the stage have diarrhea fart and poop and poop and pee When I number 2 it sounds like pee Argyle sweater Argyle everything We've gone to plaid ludicrous wedding ring Yeah I said Luda bitch get out the way I won't be having sex with you today I take my time and get to know you several dates of course I'll phone you we can kiss and have milkshakes but you can't know how my dick tastes Dictate action quick freeze frame my pants must stay on today I've got values I've got morals until I Say I do not even oral But once we're married bitch look out put it in your ass put it in your mouth Lick my anus dressed as a clown turn my condoms upside down pour out semen on your grandpa make you lick it while I slam pogs Cut your ass like joker's face Think that's rough that's just first base i love you so much girl you know i love your pearl but tonight i want to be your durst hit your chocolate starfish till it hurts when a butt queefs is it just a fart when a butt gapes and shapes like a heart i'll sing you boy band songs in the dark cept i'll sing butt, when they sing heart works so perfect every song it's like they wrote em that way sing along its all in, can my balls fit too my sweet zune tunes keeps you in the mood riding through the final throes damn, we're outta lube, here just blow your nose tonight girl you're my jenna haze jenny hendrix ass for days you're my taylor rain, my keri sable natalia rossi, i'm not able to complete coherent words and thoughts with your wagging ass in hot pink butt floss ranch dressing, salad tossed main course rump roast scrotum sauce just like mitch said, wedding rings first then cock rings, butt plugs, and so much worse
we found your myspace account we can find your house we can use our beats we can take you out we know you're debating about clicking our links but you can buy non-exclusive if you're shit stinks if you're sure you're going major, buy it exclusive better buy today, you don't wanna lose it just try and delete this message, another will appear asking if you wanna buy some beats and it should be clear that's why you're here, well, that and porn naked chicks and rap music is why the internet was born best quality you can get from a free vst each beat delivered as an mp3 professional, man, these beats are HD you can put em on your iTunes or mixtape CD and trust me i produced for all the majors these beats are all you need to silence your haterz


released December 26, 2011


all rights reserved


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