The Legend Of Hard Corey

by Schooly Bus presents Former Fat Boys

supported by
Michael Hudgins
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Michael Hudgins Come on, Morphin' Mighty Mega Rangers. Favorite track: It's Morphin Time!.
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modem Too funny, but has a lot of heart. Favorite track: Revenge of the Nerds.
Jacob Frelinger
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Jacob Frelinger Just an awesome album, opens with a killer track, and keeps coming! Favorite track: The Legend Of Hard Corey.
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released February 4, 2012

Ben Garbe aka $ucksex, Schooly Bus
Mitchell Robert Adams aka Saltine
Andrew Nielsen aka MC Lars
Keith Moore aka Beefy
Bryce Case aka YTCracker
Sean Jordan aka Wordburglar

Corey Wills
Ben Garbe
Elijah Lucian


all rights reserved


Track Name: The Legend Of Hard Corey
hard corey, he's got guns
he's gon kill everyone
hard corey, locked and loaded
cocked and bloated,
where's he goin
hard corey he's got swords
he's coming for my ass and yours
no one's safe cept cuddly things
NOT hard corey's out to kill everything

hard corey's waving nun chucks
smacking bad guys, grabbing dumb sluts
he's so hard, yet he's so soft
i offer help, but get waved off
hard corey's cockslapping people
a sideways church, swinging its steeple
smacks one moves on does it again
please allow me to introduce, ladies and gentlemen
this is the tale, this is the story,
this is the legend of hard corey

leaps tall buildings in a single plane
they call him hard corey cuz that's his name
get out of his way cuz his mind is warped
played to many video games and not enough sports
and he's got a sword he won't be ignored he's fucked up
slashing, gashing caffeine doped up
and his mom says no
but she's ignored
hard corey keeps on
cuz this is war
rural areas farms and such
cows chickens giraffes corn cobs for lunch
taking out towns, follows his hunch
innocent civilians knocked out with one punch
kills a bunch, pauses his hunt
finds the scent, hard corey's works never done
moves on looking for more fun
heads westward towards the setting sun
look out everyone, best get moving
hard corey's superhuman, never losin
always hard, in your backyard
you can't run or hide if he's pulled your card

corey's a rebel not giving a shit
puts on his glasses sees the world in 8 bit
fingerblast your bitch, like he was captain N
only watches reruns what's happenin
he's blastin cats, while he's tappin ass
bitches don't stand a chance in his habitat
inspect that pussy he's a wise ass owl
always askin me why i'm so low brow
dick's low to ground so low key
lord of fuck doing miracles for free
raising the dead with surreal beats
hard corey's for dinner, he beats your meat
more sped up then dennis quaid
stuck inside your head like its innerspace
the kids crazy, the kids racous,
the kids nuts, they hang out when he's walking
through his shorts or his pants, its doesn't matter which
drags em on the cement if they starts to itch
twirls em round his head like a bolo whip
then he poof disappears like he's tygra's kid
and his mom's cheetarah cuz he sees the past
losin his hair's all part of the plan
part lex luthor part clark kent
the first bald superman frank miller presents
the future of heroes, the real dark knight
muhammad ali, george bush, vanilla ice
hard corey vs. them and iron mike
you tell who me who would win in a fight
the odds are sick, the bets are big
the crowrd goes wild when he enters the ring
he's kills all comers, then kills don king
hits the buffet and doesn't leave a thing

leads his horse to a river, makes it drink,
makes its walk, makes it stand up, makes it fart even makes it talk
behind his beard ain't another fist just a bunch of chins
sidekick out of nowhere cuz he's stealing this schtick
chuck norris walks in feeling kinda cliche
corey rips his throat out, and walks away
body destroyed like corey planned this
chuck reunited with jonathan brandis
sheaths the kitana he brandished
ninja vanish, like tatsu, except corey dances
hard corey doesn't sleep he masturbates
surround by a hundred hoes with tiny waists
and the girls crowd around get it all on they face
cuz he eats pineapple for the aftertaste
and i'm gonna be his sidekick so i'm lifting weights
and i bought a couple suits alls we need is capes
Track Name: Seven Evil Exes
its crazy this girl's got me wrapped around her little finger
she's skating through my dreams, but i can't say i've ever seen her
she's got an attitude, she's got a fantastic butt
but i'm playing with knives, so i just may get cut
cuz these are the details of my precious little life
as i try to find a way to make it all work out right
its like its all been paused and she just pushed the start
i can take on ganon now, her potion refilled all my hearts
all these evil exes and no exits to run to
the old 1, 2 its only forward can't go back no control z to undo
cuz i got a crazy ex who's slightly underage, filled with rage
obsessed with my sex bob-omb on and off the stage
and what i lack in confidence, i make up in spazz
and when of flying array of demonic hipster chicks attacks
i'll just reflect their blast, send it back
cuz i'm that smooth
i guess i can't lose
i'll fight these bad dudes

cuz she's got 7, 7, 7
evil ex boyfriends
and they're coming and i'm running
and i'm trying to defend
her honor and her life
cuz i've never lost a fight
and I ain't gon start tonight
they'll drop hard when i hook right

cuz she's got 7, 7, 7
evil ex boyfriends
and they're villians, super villians
so this just might be the end
so i grab on to her hand
jam out with my band
it may look like i'm losing but
that's all part of the plan

this must be punishment for my seven deadly sins
that i committed cuz a little envy's doing me in
like i'm samson, she's delilah, i get a new haircut i die cuz
that's my weakness and this week is not my week cuz i am sleepless
between, lisa, envy, knives, kim, ramona, and winifred
and 7 evil exes i'm worried my destruction is iminient
i need lives unlimited, cuz i need wins not useless points
with no bus fare, a long walk home unless i score me some coins
cuz i just wanna say i love you like i'm mario she's peach
but i'm feeling like a toadstool just staring at my feet
and i keep getting letters spelling my impending doom
but i just throw em in the trash cuz i am about to go boom on her

its like i'm embattled in an epic quarrell
its like i'm jonathan strange but there's 7 mr. norrells
its like playing contra without 30 lives, i'mm a die
mission impossible and i'm tom cruise now, not 95
i can't win, there's an ex girlfriend now i can't hit a chick
where do you punch e m, can't kick her ass, can't punch her tits shit
if only i could find it, on this subspace road, a cheet code
for something from the gilded house of flying burritos, mmm burritos
i'll use my bass guitar to whoop that vegan's ass
manipulating sound waves like the boys and crash
and i'll take down that famous actor and score his autograph
and if she lets me grab her boobs i'll have the last laugh on her
Track Name: She Needs A Superman
SHe's needs a Batman
and I'm just Bruce Wayne
I've got some cash
But I gotta up my night game
She needs a Superman
And I'm too Clark Kent
She's got that stamina
All too quick I'm all spent (i come too fast like wally west)

She's needs a superman
stopping bullets blocking spam
he does it all
even defeats the foot clan
she's got expensive tastes
an absurdly tiny waste
and its like her boobs
protrude up to her gorgeous face
she's like a barbie doll
wonder woman bratz child
its like she can't exist
like i'm on the x files
its not a porn flick
but she makes the porn chicks
look just like the girls
who were born with no tits
she's ridiculous
some villians up to vicious tricks
cuz no girl that looks like this
means it when she gives me a kiss
its twisted resistin is overloadin my system
i'm lifted into her mission
now listen this is my admission

SHe's needs a Batman
and I'm just Bruce Wayne
I've got some cash
But I gotta up my night game
She needs a Superman
And I'm too Clark Kent
She's got mad stamina
i come too fast like wally west

she needs a superdude
a man of steel with an attitude
she needs a hero a zero just will not do
she needs a superguy
someone who can make her fly
take her up into the sky
cuz she's already oh so high
she needs nothing
she's something
she's my sarah ten
and i pretend we're just friends
i'm failing this experiment
cuz i'm staring at not her eyes
her spandex suit lets nothing hide
i'm just an average guy
i think i need a new disguise
a new persona
she's my ramona flowers
i suspect she's got powers
she's skating through my mind
when its locked after hours
and then there's my knives chau
the girl i've got now
she'll probably have a cow
and wanna take my new girl down
if we go out and hit the town

she's needs a spiderman
and i'm just peter parker
even with the symbiote
she wants me a little darker
she needs an iron man
and i'm just tony stark
she wants someone to shock her
but i just ain't got that spark
she's needs a superhero
she needs a freak of nature
she needs something special
the average joe just cannot date her

she needs a superboy
a couple clones just to enjoy
that's probably not enough love
she'll probably need a couple toys
she needs a justice league
she needs a whole team
gather the avengers
she'll take em on at full steam
i'm talking tony and peter and bruce
steve hank carol jessica drew
she's into girls too
there's nothing she won't do
if you only wanna 3
she'll just laugh kinda sweet
then she'll start to leave
telling her no is like pressing control alt delete
please appease her every whim and request
if you wanna see her breasts
you better have an S on your chest
cuz she's not into money
she's not into fame
she's into guys
who are afraid of villians learning their name
you're mr. invisible date
if you ain't got a cape
normal guys wait
but if you fly, say hi
you cannot escape

she needs her own robin
and I'm just jason todd
outta my league i can't compete
yeah i'll be dead on the job
she needs a green lantern
and i'm too hal jordan
she likes me bad, but now i'm good
and i'm kinda boring

she needs a green arrow
but i'm just ollie queen
i got a billion bucks
but thats not her favorite green
she needs the wonder twins
but i'm just plain zan
i can get her wet
but she says she needs another hand
Track Name: Junk Food
girl you're boyfriend's not good for you
i'm broccoli he's junk food
i'm home cooked, he's mickey d's
so drop that heart attack and diet please

you gotta believe me I'm telling the truth
you need to diet you got dead weight to lose
doesn't matter what he do, he's not good for you
girl your boyfriend is junk food

girl you're boyfriend too much salt
girl you're boyfriend is cholesteral
all in all he's bad for your heart
be smart let him go cuz we got a spark

so you say you got a man now and that's fine
but i heard from your friends he's a bad guy
you're the taco bell onions he's ecoli
he started off a spud, now he's a large fry
he still tastes good, but your not sure you should
chow down and risk indulging further hurt but if you could
take a second and let me get into your head
with this awesome jam that'll really make you spread
so i can raise you up a peg, bring you down like jenny craig
I'm Corona Zero, so go on drink a keg
i'll be your man that 's pure cane sugar
he's corn syrup you'd prolly rather eat a booger
so indulge in dull with your hostess man
let him stuff you up, or you can switch to bran cuz

now don't look at me like that, i'm not calling you fat
its just I think the food you're used to is potentially quite bad
i'm not saying its your fault, it tasted good at first
but am I really wrong when I guess you'd like to try reverse
and go back, switch gears, swap, trade, upgrade
countrytime is nice, but I'm simply lemonade
I'm rooty tooty, fresh and fruity
He's TV dinners right to your booty
I'm a protein smoothie, jamba juicey
if my nutrition facts are wrong have the FDA sue mek

i'm former fat boy so I should know
i've been you before, i've over indulged
Completely gluten free
Anti-oxidants are me
si soy acai, I see what you need
I'm berry berry yummy
He's pounds right on your tummy
the buzz is i'm you're honey, don't be a dummy hunny
spit him out
why leave a bad taste in your mouth
you better get me now
just may sell out may sell out
i'm a happy meal with extra value added
completely organic, taste is orgasmic, you have to have it
don't wait to switch, abandon ship
or buy some spandex cuz they'll be calling you titanic
so girl eat your wheaties
get off the path to diabetes
add it up like archimedes
i'm what you should be eating
Track Name: Don't Tickle Me
i turn beats into legends
of smith and wessons
poppin off, do sins in sevens
downing slurpees at 7-elevens
i'm a touch the heavens
throw lightning bolts they won't find your remnants
i got the weapons and guns and stuff i'm wearing rubber gloves
i'll shoot you in the face with a gun I don't know the name of
you fucking tickled me first you picked the fight
you think you wanna play chess, but I'm fucking Chris Night
bored with life, finding myself
are you prepared if gravity reverses itself
my back packs got jets
they call me sucksex
straight a's, i think so good
they call me the test
tehy call you leguizamo cuz you're only a pest
catch me if you can, cuz I'm cashing bad checks
staying two steps a head, my plan is complex
you unleased a monster trying to tickle my chest
you think you're tracks the best, but you're missin finesse
like a high school prom with out the sucksex
like european porn without all the czech's
so don't tickle me get that in your head
besides, corey's funnier tickle him instead
same name as the pirate roberts yo you can call me dread
my words like iocane powder, defeat your evil
beat your giant and your spaniard and all your people
i win land wars in asia, i'm unbelieveable (OHHH)
tickle me and get away..nah inconcievable

you'll get me shaking and quaking
twiching and flinching
michael j. fox looks like a statue when i'm hit with the tickling
like an epileptic on crack
there's no turning back, tickle me motherfucker, and I'm kicking your ass
heroes live on motherfucker, but legends never die
have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight
motivated by vengence I'll get back
hide under your bed for a late night attack
when i was born the doctor was like oh shit
this kids got a nature to which no nuture would stick
hanging around in cetral park like its home alone 2
with a fat bird lady trying to catch avian flu
and give it to you
achoo, yeah that's what I'll do
like michigan after a loss, staggering yellow and blue
You're green fucker i'm thinking you gonna puke
raped so bad you'll think I play for Duke
revenge is mmm good like a can of campbells soup
Track Name: Play To Win (St. Mario's Fire)
this is for everyone who's been alive and just lived, everyone who's got a future and a past
everyone with time to go before they die,

you gotta play to win
get past the boss
gotta save the princess whatever the cost
grab that one-up
win the game
warp a few levels
enter your name
you got the high score
don't get sloppy, pracitce, learn
gotta play to win
cuz bad guys return
you gotta play to win
get past the boss
gotta save the princess whatever the cost

there's a time when you gotta take life by the reigns
grab the bull by the horns and a hundred other cliches
fly planes, grab wheels of cars, jump off buildings
head to the dentist, get those fillings
stand up to wrong men, all over the continent
show em you're competent, don't censor your content
sport t-shirts saying something awfully rotten
dry on low heat, they're 100% cotton
sometimes the hero's an average guy who doesn't drive a hummer
don't say you're just a turtle or only a plumber
don't say you're just a baby dragon with bubbles to blow
just a kid from hyrule with crappy a crappy sword and bow
when you hear the call you have to head it
when destiny calls you have to meet it
when they deliver a pizza you have to eat it
feel the michael jackson step up an beat it
its just a boss level, go on defeat it
don't get caught drowing, swim like some semen
sometimes faith in something hard to believe in
can save the whole universe from monsters or demons
so if the dr's robotnik, stand up and stop it
if he escapes to space hijack a rocket
spin up to warp three once you hop in the cock pit
this ain't a game of tag you can't just yell not it

You can be the champ you can win it all
You can be the champ if you heed the call

you gotta win at all costs, losers suck
loser gets the fatties, winner gets the sluts
winner gets easter eggs after credits
secret ending is your championship evidence
keep on drinking straight through the puking
do whatever ever it takes to be super human
if zombies ate your neighbors start blastin and shootin
if there's sonic boom, gon on blast that hadouken
there's probably treasure if you can raid the ruin
keep you're head high when the crowd is booing
power up with some milk if the cows is mooin
grab that warp whistle and watch em all start oohin

friday night when everyone's out
train in your basement, don't ever doubt
ignore your mom when she begs you to move out
climb up that vine, jump in that cloud (reach for that crown)
take the wheel from toejam, crash into earth
blast to the top, be a jim and a worm
don't do it for fame, be your own champion
even greats get forgotten just ask little samson
the fact is practice, just learn to rap this
then chill in 8-8 with the former fat kids
stand up to bad guys, your attack must show
olivia and layla must be let go
this ain't just for you, its for your people
want job security, do it right, and you'll get your sequel
someone always doubts, but they'll be sorry though
save that hot babe and they'll pipe down like mario
Track Name: Reading Rainbow
freeze don't move right where you are
put down that remote, lemme be your levar
lets celebrate who you are, read a little babar
the elephant in the room is that today's kids are starved
they need a imagination, its not very hard
you can see the man in the moon with a library card
if you take a look

check it out i just wrecked my zephyr
and the sails won't fly, i'm stuck forever
in a land faraway, and i'll have to stay
i should known it was gonna be a no good very bad day
i should have moved to australia, chilled with kangaroos
worn a purple coat with my bright white shoes
imagination is endless, but pasta is not
that is unless you happen to possess a pasta pot that's magic
so i throw a batch in, its starts to grow
but i shoulda listened when streganona said no
but the best lessons, i've learned have been on my own
turns out there's no gila monsters at my new home
turns out there's nice monsters underneath my bed
and i no longer fear being where the wild things tread
i'm starting to understand, how with just a purple crayon
i can draw an adventure with only my hand
i can dig up dinosaurs and assemble the bones
find a buttonless bear and give him a home
and travel so far without leaving my chair
picking blueberries with sal look out a bear!
i'll keep on reading, i'm never gonna stop
like pre-jimmy neutron bob fulton stretching soda pop
till its endless
create a little mischeif like calvin or dennis
the day got worse i'm at the dentist
but mrs. piggle wiggle and her house upside down
and solving a case with encyclopedia brown
and chance of rain, from a meatball cloud
have turned my frown upside down, my day around
now i'm prepared for anything, whatever i do
if it rains carrots or there's a phantom toll booth
that appears just to test me, or a pirate with a hook
got me hooked, its fun come take a look, in a book
Track Name: It's Morphin Time!
Go! Go!
Fight the bad guys
Go! Go!
Even if they get supersized
Go! Go!
you gotta Risk you lives
Go! Go!
It's morphin Time

how many teens got a surprise
a secret identity they try and hide
go! go!
so if you got a power coin
just flip the side its morphin time

dynamic duo here to fight some crime
like what's up its morphin time
heroes naturally selected by intelligent design
cuz it seems like villans been writing rhymes

we're the straight a's, you're the straight d's
we gonna make you go poof like we punched z's
when you go turbo, we're gonna go lightspeed
just call us like (boop boop boo doo) beep beep

we'll go from regular suburban nerds
to folk super hero ninja ranger rappers
with powers unheard of, rock your ear drums
so tap your communicator and beam up

back into action, the fight never ends
from earth to the moon and back again
leaving angel grove girls exposed like lord zedd
and totally blowing flutes like tommy did

we're the real thing cuz girls always know
a futuristic sex robot is just a dildo
and we transform and combine to kill those
with our own robot made out of dinos

widely respected widely adored
fighting villans from Rita to the evil Moltor/Norg/Lothor
getting girls cuz they all wanna ride in my zord
and play with my sword, cuz these other mc's have em totally bored

every other second a new hero is born
looking up to us like the beaver to ward
they don't know they have the power till we show em how to morph
cuz i'm pretty sure every hero was previously a dork

push your hands out if you wanna transform
to a superhero ranger that brings the ninja storm
drum some dino thunder, strike a chord
and if you're the white ranger sing along with your sword

never use your power for personal gain
never use your morpher for personal fame
keep your identity secret, friendships true
don't escalate a battle unless rita forces you
spread your wings and you'll defeat the goldars
with a little team work you'll be stacking gold bars
come on now, its easy and simple
don't be stupid now like bulk and skull
average chunky geek teen
alt rapping crime fighting machine
pick tommy if you're playing with friends
cuz he's the only ranger who gets the girl in the end
Track Name: I Rule Hyrule (The Smash Bros. Anthem)
i rule hyrule with an iron fist
that i found in a forrest
so deep locked away in a castle
that i had to find cuz some asshole
kidnapped a damsel
and so began my endless quest
to save the world from this terrorist
no matter how many times he eats my fist
ceases to exist, poofs into mist, exploits something i missed
and i have to go save some ass
complete tasks, sometimes in a mask,
sometimes in the future, sometimes in the past
sometimes as a wolf, just for laughs
gotta find some keys, collect collect rupees
hookshot or boomerrang makes these keese freeze
and all you haters that sit there laughing
grab a wave bird and just see what happens
wavedash your ass, your gums stop flapping
challenge me in the temple if you doubt the rappin
cuz i don't give a fuck if you sheik or ganon
you're damage percent gonna be off the map and
i'm take it the top, no lifes lost, champ of the nation
i don't die that's humiliation
cuz my final smash, fuck it, i'll just bash your face in
you ain't gonna beat it me, come and face it

i am the champ
2 players or 4
i am the one
who holds the triforce
i max the ko's
last one to stand
the master hand
feared throughout the land

i am the bomb cuz i'm packing bombs
and if you listen hear the crowd cheer me on cuz i got items on
and if you're puny or wimpy like peach or ness
well excuseeeeee me princess, i'm the best
i'm original, written in stone, you're written in ink
the adventure of link, beat in a blink
we try to forget you exist cuz you stink
as you search around for some potion to drink
to save your life or last a little longer
but i have a 16 hearts and i'll bet i'm stronger
let peach whack me with her arnold palmer
i'll act a goron and straight napalm her
cuz you're so fucking bad, you're a face palmer
you're fucking dead already i'm the embalmer
i'm captain N, i'm the game master
no mega-man yet, but i'll grab a blaster
and dr. wily your ass you're such a disaster
and when it comes to swords, i have the master
that i pulled from a stone like that disney flick
welcome to death mountain, this is it

you pull up in your porche
i pull up up on a horse
cuz all these princesses love epona
they hop right up and ride my boner
welcome sir to hyrule where i rule and ain't a loner
its about time your retired cuz we're tired of your odor
my thinks mom i'll stop when i'm older, but i'm a 27 year old wanna be coder
the next miyamoto, but for now i yo-yo
between eating sleeping and my dojo cuz

cuz this is my anthem this is my song
when i win the gold we'll all sing along
cuz i can outwit and outlast kenny hoang (hwong)
in fact he calls me for tips, cuz his games all wrong
every time that i grab my bow
with silver arrows
act like you know
cuz i'm bout to blow
like a pokemon electrode
friday afternoon, my super show
hyrule temple 3, 2, 1 GO!
Track Name: Dinosaurus II: The Lost World
i'm chilling out out in the lost world baby
getting all the ladies in the lost world baby
cuz it gets a little crazy in the lost world baby
and i'm falling in love in the lost world baby

i ain't the typical dino living in the BC
every other dino wants to be me
cuz i'm so 2009, metrosexual pedigree
i'm a star all these hot compys keep petting me
completely divorced, beyonce was a whore
and she never seemed to make me go ROAR ROAR
still got my time traveling train
and my oversized brain
bankrupt in the future, but I'm back to reign
pop a squat on my throne, like a prehistoric rome
lost my record deal, pulled an ET and phoned home
just like a mortgage, totally a loan
prehistoric emperor ruling with an iron bone
the next first caligula,
fuckin nothing in particular
fucking hot dino mamas i'm a stiff-a-ler
ain't fucking looking at chu, i was looking at her
i'm looking to flirt, i'm looking to make my heart hurt
and i see a lil raptor with them birdlike thighs
scaly fucking tail with some green ass eyes
with a little amber in her hide like the fly that made me alive
i say baby you wanna ride and travel through time
you can be my jennifer i'll be your marty mcfly
you can be my high school love, my sight for sore eyes
or i can be your doc brown, you can swallow my cock down
the call me brian wilson cuz i get around, round get around
round baby i get all of the girls
and i'm setting up shop chillin in the lost world with a boner

i pretend to be a player, i'm really just a poet
original author romeo and juliet i wrote it
shakespeare stole it and i hold it against him to this day
he's a phony who stole every word in all of his plays
he's a money grubbing idiot clever early london city kid
original vanilli didn't write or sing his biggest hits
but back to the program, that's pg
13 chicks on my dick in the pan-G
a bakers dozen, of dinosaur loving
but one stood out man this chick had something
maybe her teeth, maybe her claws
prominent jaw my horny little triceratops
took her out dinner literally at the ivy
over by the forrest glen, next to a couple of high trees
my hot lil vegetarian chowing down some ferns
i even used silverware eating grilled laura dern
that it was back to my place which is basically a giant fucking rock
she moaned from the size as she jumped on top
that's where the term originated...yeah, dinosaurus cock
and every single night we make the bedrock
we make the bedrock make the make the bedrock

killed my first wife in cold blood
then kicked back with a cold one
but i'm having a blast cuz this new one ain't the old one
she's fun we party nightly
her exes wanna fight me
i rip off their heads
as she smiles nicely in her tight jeans
what are the chances like rocks falling from above
one in a billion chance that i'd fall in love
every once in awhile i need pussy so i get it
and i find myself a sabertooth tigrette and its electric
but otherwise i'm old faithful, one girl for my geyser
ok i'm lying, i'm a womanizer womanizer womanizer womanizer
i only have eyes for you and you and you and her
pussy's pussy whether covered in skin scales or fur
but now she got pregnant shit's hit the fan lately
she keeps screaming, i think she hates me
the kid pops out, roar and i just go crazy
i hate the thing, it keeps saying i'm the baby i'm the baby
well i'm the daddy, i'm a deadbeat a lot
i'll miss her forever, future's calling, i'll reclaim the top spot
besides paris hilton texted, she wants to bone on her yacht
and i quoute "petey its paris, come make my bed rock"
Track Name: Former Fat Boys, Schooly Bus, Elijah Lucian - You Can't Call
you can't call
please don't call
you can't call
you can't call me anymore

it's always the phone
just one ringtone
means she's alone
another one down
another one left her
another wrong chioce
another wrong left turn
then its her voice
on the line
begging to hear mine
like somehow she doesn't know
i'm not fine
like somehow she doesn't see me as a boy
i'm just another best friend she'll destroy
like a toddler breaking its toys
every time she's down she likes to make noise
that's when she calls

if i were a girl,
i'd call i'd call ever guy
that ever listened to me whine
about some guy who repeatedly lied
while i repeatedly cried
and was so blind
yeah, i'd apologize
cuz i'd bet some rich dude's corvette
that every dude in this club had a smurfette
that he knew he'd never get, but he answered every text
took every call, and would always regret
and every ho sipping that goose and cran
has got 5 numbers and a master plan
and she'll never be in love with any of them
but as soon as she's needy, she'll call again
so no i guess i'm not that tough
i don't care, done being dumb i'm calling your bluff
cuz when you call I'm messed up
cuz there's only one of us that's in love
cuz there's only one that's in love
cuz there's only one that's not love
cuz there's only one so i give up
my heart is broken and i've had enough

so kiss kiss kiss kiss your girlfriends all night long
as sam rosnon plays lindsay's song
while your boyfriend gets his thing on with a cutie in a thong (as the dj bangs this song)
and you wonder why he's gone so long
he was headed to the bathroom hours ago
and you're so smashed out on jack and blow
acting a ho, so you pull out your phone
and ET me, baby, i ain't your home
you cannot call me cuz your just so sorry
that's life, and i'm so bored of games on these lonely nights
and i just can't pretend to care bout lights and bars and fancy cars
i drive a 97 neon it could be ours
ac and tape deck
but you see stars
and you even try to call
if you got no bars
blinded your living so large and giant
true loves in your face you can't find it
you say you need me now i ain't buying it
so leave a voicemail or just be quiet
cuz i'm over waiting for you i'm on a diet
Track Name: Former Fat Boys, Schooly Bus, Elijah Lucian - Shawty Ur My Boo
shawty you're my boo, you my main ho
and we getting down on the dance floo

and i love you everywhere you go
you know i love you so
i wrote this out for you
so you would know

so can i yap at ya
i wanna yap at ya
i wanna ya at ya
i wanna let you know
that you're my ho
and take you home
and make you moan

so kiss my toilet parts
i'll kiss your toilet parts

i pull up to the club in a car that don't exist
it's got rims, gps, ps4's, its got chicks
paint job changes twice a night
candy coated go on taste the rainbow if you like
lick it lick, suck suck baby just don't bite it
if you wanna ride pull shirt up if you excited
down on your knees, please, if you wanna get knighted
cuz my clothes glow and sparkle shiny shiny
and when i ride my whores in the club you can find me
front and center, neverending bender
if a ho steps outta line, pull an urkle and suspend her
cut off her funds, cut off her ones
i'm vip i don't want none if you got buns hun
so we kick down the doors find some trim and just start eyein it
so many cuties booties so little time i haven't decided
then in the strobe is this ho with diamond eyelids
banging smile bouncing boobs man she can have my kids
or we can adopt cuz she's hot and i'm not one to waste away what the lord gives
and i stride to her side and straddle her fine hips the finest
and this is what i whisper to her ears with my lips

i wanna grab wanna grope wanna gaze wanna yap at ya
can i take a snap for my myspace, can i get your picture
can i get your ass out them jeans
prolly not cuz its like nothing i've ever scene
cuz she got them shoes with the holes where her toes show so sexy
8 inch heels, tits faux real, go on feel, flexy flexy
legs behind her head right out in my backseat
she spent her stimulus check some baggies of weed
and her hdtv, so i can watch esp-n
while she gives me head on the weekends
and babe i promise that i'll dress you up in nothing less than gucci stuff
with prada bags not lauren conrags,
you're no hills slut, i promise babe you're worth it
and i love when you climb up on a pole and work it
the way you move's electric and i'm a circuit
you flow through me like a wave and i gotta surf it
got aids syphillis and gonorrea
more worms crawling through me than crawling through aailyah
so i'll see ya
feeling 6th grade cuz I wouldn't wanna be ya
bing bang bong ding check my onomatopeoia
i don't care if that turns you off or sumthin
there's a million other shorties out there waiting for a humpin
but if you wanna be my main ho, the engine is runnin
and why not grab a friend or two come on shawty jump in
Track Name: Shake Yo Dicks (A Manthem) (Hard Corey's Extra Hard Remix)
put you hands up, raise em really high
shake your junk side to side
make em wonder if they're ready for a ride
make all get ready to drop their fly
make em forget to look you in the eye
make em bend over and shake their behind
let em know you ain't lying, shake it with pride
show off your bulge make em all wanna glide
cuz time's wastin its half past the hour
are you prince adam, or do you have the power
should your be worshiped or are you a bower
are we talking ranch house or a penthouse tower
are you gonna come early or will you stay up late
are you a fuckbuddy or just a first date
are you some tofu are are you the steak
cuz if you're the man, let that thing shake

shake your dicks
wave your nis
come move it just like this
get those dudes
or grab those chicks
it doesn't matter which
just make sure you wave it wave it
swing it like you're naked
if you got a big thing, that's ready for a swing
just make sure that its shakin

sh sh sh sh show them girls
sh sh sh sh show them boys
if you you got a nice nis
make them wish
make em wanna kiss
make em twitch ooh till they make some noise
girls wiggle and show them tits
when the boys in the club all shake those dicks
if you got a nice package come on wave that nis
let me show you how its done come on move like this

when i see a diiiick shaking i wanna take it out
when i see a diiiick shaking i wanna put it in my mouth
when i see a diiiick shaking it makes me wanna shout
when i see a diiiick shakingit makes me start to sprout

so wave your nis like a flag
straights and gladd
nothing wrong with that
shakins the new fad
gays grab a guy, girls grab a man
almost said the f word, there cuz it rhymed my bad
i meant no harm, i ain't trying to offend
i'm just a weather girl trying to make it rain men
i'm trying to get britney spears pregnant again
i'm trying to hypnotize your eyes with my shaking lil ben
come on spray some liquor
cock it hard and pull the trigger
bounce around the club like a drunken tigger
make it bigger, till we all sweat
if you XX you better be erect
cuz its gonna get intense like camping
everybody pitch tents and start dancing
if this dance could kill they'd call it manson
something bout the shake makes ya more handsome
pants got y'all dicks hostage, someone pay the random
and don't forget to include the chicks
girls if you're left out just strap on some dicks
and shake sha ke shake shake shake that dildo
and if you got it in your shirt giggle those pillows
every buffy in the house try kissing a willow
and every guy kinda scared just grab your best bro
march your back pussy's straight to the dance flo
and gay or straight get a little homo

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