Wanna Buy Beats? - Volume 2

by Former Fat Boys, Terry McBeer, Schooly Bus

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kill your laughter buying beats is the new viagra ever tried telling chicks you were a rapper don't knock it, they laugh then fuck you after then you buy a beat and brag how you tapped her in the club bathroom ok you never tapped her, cue laughter, you just took a dump but when you got the mic your persona can be trump you be the DU, you could be humpty hump so i keep buying beats and i keep spinning yarns and i post em to myspace where i am a star and i post lots of pictures of me with fancy cars parked out front of clubs and outside of bars i'm living proof that these ads were right i bought some beats and just look at my life i'm unsigned tripe, i'm still white, still 10% real 95% hype i'm twenty six years old and fully employed if being an unemployed rapper counts as fully employed so a nigerian craiglist prince sold me a keyboard and i'm gonna make me some beats and open me a beat store three beats for a dolla 10 beats for jackson hell, write me a check for a penny i'll probably cash it i got my beat kitchen i'm here to cook spamming myspace i'm why everyone went to facebook
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i'm stuck in line at the hottest new night spot it goes and goes forever wrapping all around the block there's lotsa bitches here there's lotsa dudes too there's bouncers out front what's this lil wayne sposed to do i could flash some cash or try to whoop some ass or go detective comics on em... and just just sneak past it's getting late all the bottle whores will be spoken for they'll be nothing left for me when i get my in the door so i spring into action back to the mansion gotta switch my style up then i'll kill it like a manson ditch the designer jeans grab a killer dark suit straight out a cave but it'll have to do ditch my rolys royce hop into a modified ford futura from old times and blast the turbine then i speed back through the empty streets and when i pull up all the bros scream and when I pull up all the hoes cream and when i pull up it's like a a fucking dream and when i pull up all the villains flee you got a dress code but i come dressed as me so i bat suit up I got my cape and my cowl on cuz tonight i'm here to party cuz i made the crime all gone i saved the city once i saved the city twice i saved it three times i deserve to skip the line so i bat suit up I got my cape and my cowl on cuz tonight i'm here to party cuz i made the crime all gone i ain't no superman but i saved the whole world now come here cutie bootie you can be my bat girl all you wannabes gangbangers and gun toters you think you run this place y'all a bunch of fucking jokers you got your bottle service you push a lot of weight one little wire transfer i'll fucking own this place you drunk and confident why not hit the batman you think your supervillians but you're just some henchmen we're up in VIP she's making lots of noise she's screaming out where does he get these wonderful toys then there's a bat signal shinin through the skylight the whole club just stops and stares but this is my night i'm drinking taquila i'm singing that new kesha tik tok on clock till it's time that I defeat ya it could be killer croc or the scarecrow it could be harley quinn or poison ivy but i'll never know it's a holiday, i got the night off someone else can handle it, maybe they can call the cops so I switch chicks this one's got no class plus she's a clayface she's the one that needs a mask cuz i've done catwoman bagged a beaumont i need some pedigree if you wanna ride the bat cock so i bat suit up I got my cape and my cowl on cuz tonight i'm here to party cuz i made the crime all gone she's wearing latex she's got her head bobbin my batphone rings but tonight immma leave it up to robin so i bat suit up I got my cape and my cowl on cuz tonight i'm here to party cuz i made the crime all gone i trained with ras al ghoul don't try this at home kids dj plays my theme song the whole club flips its lids
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dear justin beiber get your hands off off my beaver dear justin beiber all you do is tease tease tease tease then leave her dear justin bieber let me make myself clear that i will defeat ya dear justin i know what you been bustin in my girlfriend's face giving her that loving sing her your lullabies don't lie i recognize all the classic signs under your spell, she's hypnotized you're such a player breakin lots of hearts well she's a good girl go play some mario kart cuz ur 16 she's 26 and i don't don't mean to scold but shouldn't you be running game on 9 year olds go fuck demi lovato or miley cyrus hollywood's finest they love your heinous go frost they eyelids let's put this behind us come on bro, tell me why you takin all my vaginas dear justin beiber get your hands off off my beaver dear justin beiber all you do is tease tease tease tease then leave her dear justin bieber let me make myself clear that i will defeat ya cuz you tell her baby baby baby but then you play eenie meenie drivin her crazy she begs begs begs her way back to my world if you'd stay away there'd be one less lonely girl dear justin dear justin i think your motherfuckin face needs readjusting dear bieber let me make it clear if you come round here if you ever see her if i see your sneakers if you deciever her you'll be mike seaver you better become a believer i'll explode your brain left hook, my kick's the crane right hook, uppercut, more of the same hello hospital j-biebs got growing pains in every appendage aww look what ben did this pop stars legless and suspended mini steve urkle hung from distended bowels someone get some towels it's ended can't be mended, even out facebook's unfriended dear justin beiber get your hands off off my beaver dear justin beiber all you do is tease tease tease tease then leave her dear justin bieber let me make myself clear that i will defeat ya and you're little chipmunk face you're little chipmunk teeth and you're little chipmunk hair you're gonna be chipmunk meat you got 3 billion hoes that's my girl bro you mom called bed time so you better head home dear justin dear justin i think your motherfuckin face needs readjusting
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i'm back in the continental 48 landed that plane, defeated some snakes hit the bars for some R&R like charles i'm in charge me and my whole crew we hyperstraight living it large except the ones that died, from poisonous bites but we pour 40s of frozen, flavored ice on the curb as we enter this theme park center hard corey hard is fuck samuel l still my mentor wanna ride every ride till we done wanna win a prize squirtin a gun want my g's past 4 bye olivia munn like that old man said more flags more fun and we chillin out yo we riding those rides fast pass in our hands yo we skippin those lines but then i feel a splash from nowhere, water hits me something ain't quite right, something seems fishy it happened fast so i grabbed my glock whipped it out let it spray like peter north's cock but the way we was whipping in those loop dee loops i couldn't aim couldn't shoot the mutant sharks on the loose hard corey threw up and then ran to el bano prolly gonna get a blumpkin cuz he was runnin with blonde hoes i was shooting and axeing, luckily i brought my axe junior woodchuck for life, prepared for attacks from snakes or sharks or bug bats or rats putting great whites in them body bags and the hammerheads hammering they heads with a hammer, yeah i also had a hammer, crowd takin pics with cameras ustreaming it live for their at home grammmas i hope the third movie ain't zepplins and pandas they running the attractions, things going nuts only one way to stop it, put bombs in they butts and blow the park up a better shark fighter than me, no fucking way i'm deep blue sea, i'm ll cool j i'm blowing up sharks, from a rollercoaster car that i ripped off the track retrofitted in an hour driving it straight over to the main control tower the park's my greyskull, and i have the power there's a boss shark inside it's clear from his face this ain't a normal shark, this shark's from space part squid too the way he let his ink spray but i dodged like a chrysler like a rock chevrolet his henchmen chased i got in costume 'n lost em threw bombs on they butts blew em up it was JAWSOME followed clues 'n toothes to the water park ride a final showdown, climactic boss fight ate shark guts for longer life, pay attention kids deepest bluest, my hat is like a sharks fin it cuts in, cuts him, exposing the lies these mutant sharks were really snakes in elaborate disguise back for revenge consumed with hate chopped him up like a scene out of Fishysiousse 8 wounds ridiculous, his blood glows in the dark the smell is horrendous like an ostrich fart but i've got the last laugh as i axe out his hearts i want you motherfucking sharks out my motherfucking park
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Sperm Donor 02:43
so pretty so exotic like tila tequila, so neurotic so desperate, she's almost feral she walks through the club bros bust a barrel in they pants like junior high but they sense that she's danger and let her walk by not quite a cougar, but she's past her prime you've seen her on the dirty 200 times she's dated promoters done coke with traders fucked the deejay and some nfl players tonight's no different she needs some cock but as i watch i can almost see the clock tick tock she's not looking for love don't want no mr. right she's wants to have her last drink she wants get get knocked up tonight she's looking for a sperm donor that's why i'm dancing on her that's why i'm rocking a boner cuz I'm gonna be her sperm donor she fucks like cocaine like jessica simpson she's a sure thing not just kissin she's looking for chromosomes what you got swimming if chicks could skeet she's be hoppin on women she don't want your name or what you do for a living she doesn't want you at her house next thanksgiving she wants your dna and wants it fast and that's not an abbreviation of dick n ass so i drop my pants and whip out my squirtle help this 35 year old ho make a baby girl squirt some michael phelps in her ovaries doom her to a future fof single mommy jeans try to kiss her goodbye she's like i don't wanna kiss you i love a grown woman with daddy issues i just know she'll make a terrific mom cuz she's still drinks til she tips over like guam
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this boy's hot, i don't need to tell you that eyes see and girls check out that we Formerly Fat stomach is flat so show me the rack cuz i already told you that back on show me ya tats she's grinding so hard i'm covered in rug burns and we're doing it bareback, cuz there's no aids in the suburbs and i get mine then disappear right into thin air like a blonde haired lionel richie heir poof vamoose like bilbo like frodo i've come and i'm gone then fwoop whoop i was there all along and i used a fake name, and made up a fake job i ain't need to be stalked like corn on the cob and we blowing up huge so the worlds at our shows and lo and behold, she's backstage cuz she's a ho she's like I'm not here for lies, we ain't got time i'm fucking ten days late like third eye blind no i'm not a daddy no way i can't have a kid no i'm not a daddy no way i don't have a kid ditch the after party, 10 bucks Wal-Mart invested she won't piss on it in the store she's princess-en i need privacy, and wine I'm parched a bit I'm sorry baby, i can't pee in public great i got a k-fed before I even made fifty bucks i'm like listen i was lying about blowing up so i take her cross the highway to the holidae inn express and somehow, this bitch is acutally impressed $50 bucks later, a few glugs of wild irish rose she's peeing on the the thing like hustler videos chicks brunette, but I assume its dyed while we wait she suggests we fuck to pass the time and my jaw is dropped, but her top is popped so i lay down like dr. suess she hops on pop 2 minutes later I'm done and the test is too there's a weird line appearing that's kinda light blue cross check the box to be sure, my baby mama grabs me girl you ain't pregnanat, YAY I'M NOT A DADDY! yay i'm not a daddy whooooo yeah i don't have a kid Phase one a half cooked son, put it back in the oven until the soft spot's done I tried to pull up Or out before I came The tower yelling abort I eject from the plane I put on a shirt Just to empty a hanger She's a little apprehensive Who's to say I could blame her Danger Will Robinson Abort Abort I feel like Charles Bronson Unlocking car doors Sucksex, the deed is done whip out the petron let's have some fun buying drinks for the bar handing out cigars got a stork that says yay i'm not a daddy in my front yard celebrating hard take a chick back to my car learn my lesson? no, she's gorgeous I'm not smart cuz I'm almost a star I can't have no Shar, i ain't need a chick with no c-section scars so ladies if you're not babied up i'm no obgyn, but I say fill up a cup yeah ladies, if you're not babied up i'm no surgeon general but I say light up all my brothers, if she's not babied up grab another chick cuz the night is young and everybody, without a kid on the way raise your glass up to the sky and let me here you say YAY
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yo my name's squirty squirt and i like to squirt i put it in her butt and she goes berserk she's like i love it it doesn't even hurt i'm gonna quit my job and do it for work
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yo my name's squirty squirt and i like to squirt i put it in her butt and she goes berserk she's like i love it it doesn't even hurt i'm gonna quit my job and do it for work yo my name's squirty squirt and i'm from chicago i fucked your mom in all her hot holes covered her in sauce just like some tacos ditched her with a kiss and sweetly sung te amo squirt so good squirt so much squirt and skeet all over those butts squirt so thick squirt so chunky squirt in a tube and sell it for money (squirt so good filling up your tummy) squirt so good squirt so much squirt and skeet all over those butts squirt in public squirt in private squirt everywhere i ain't tryin to hide it yo my name's shakey shake and i like to shake i put it in her butt it starts an earthquake she's like i love it it it isn't even rape pull it out fast and make my butt gape white and gooey kablammo kablooey i squirt so much there's a line just to sue me it's clear that my loads enormous i'm squirty squirt i'm a dinosaurus i'm sex tom hanks just check my performance i quote post modern poets like my name's lars horris yo my name's historic i banged anne frank squirted on Molly Brown while the Titanic sank in my time machine supreme i was tutankumming squirted on pharho's after getting a blumpkin cuz i'm squirty squirt and i'm from space but fucked a vulcan then sprayed mara jade the wolf of squirt street i did it my way like frank sinatra with a lot more to spray i'm squirty's cousin he rides with us the call me schooly bus cuz i drive his bus sold out shows i got ten toes and when i got boogers i usually blow my nose original g i got real clothes they call me prada man and mr. gucci toes facebook page forty fans @schoolybus tweets still written with crayons squirt in park squirt my nuts squirt everyday while i'm driving this bus squirt and shift squirt and honk squirt and something else that rhymes with honk
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Dance, dance watchin where my hands go you're real protective baby i like it how you move slow drop low whisper that you wanna blow out the front door take things back home we dancing in the dark barbie in the blacklight but looking kinda ken walking with ben in the moonlight so hot, opinionated the strongest women i think i've ever dated cute and cuddly i feel your silicone boobs everytime you hug me i hope you feel me too but you're holding back and i think this could be love you're playing hard to get but you ain't hard enough i know you got a secret there's something that you're hiding i know that your shy but i just wanna slide in it's like you know me its like we're on the same page i'll show you mine...wait...don't tell me you're underage? then you tell me that you used to be a dude and i'm like weird but i'm into you and it's cool i like you and i won't judge come on baby show me where your dick was come on girl, show me where your dick was or is it boy, show me where your dick was was it here, was it there was there hair, was it bare i promise i won't stare, if you just show me where legs smooth and soft six pack with a belly ring massive implants man this is confusing pretty tiny waste feminine face and that super booty thonged up in white lace say you're a virgin well, born again and I'm the first man you've been with since you been a man i'm sorry for the questions sorry if I babble should have seen it coming cuz ur throats still got an apple but if you promise not to break my heart i'll beat your new pussy up for an old fashioned fresh new start i'm a modern man, i think your move was bold in the pain olympics, i bet you'd take the gold we hold hands as i enter it feels so tender we make love all night a classic transgender bender and then i wake up you're sexy in the sunrise was it a dream? and you point down and open your thighs i never been with a half dude is that rude? are you my girlfriend? is it really true? where's your foreskin? where's your clit at? was your dick huge or just a tic tac did they keep your balls or do you still got em? do you prefer the top or are you a power bottom do you use tampons? i need to know this stuff do i need a condom like, can i knock you up?
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brush yo teef Get em real clean make sure you floss up in between bacteria in my mouth always highjackin wanna shut me down keep my tongue from wagging braggin still sleepy, still laggin grab a toothbrush to kill the dragon whoosh breath that breath so fresh nice clean smile courtesy of crest listen to the dentist his advice is best tooth superman, dds on his chest cuz he say everyday gotta floss and brush stick to h 2 aqua skip the grape crush brush after breakfast, dinner, and lunch anytime you eat even if it's just cunts pour one out for william addis invented the toothbrush from jail, dude is the baddest and when shit goes crooked gotta rock some braces two crowns before 30, listen up this ain't fake kids i love that green, you know i'm the boss food can't stay stuck when i weild my floss slip in to the pink, my gums get down it's almost like i got a g-string in my mouth mouth so dirty like i been licking butts toothbrush in so i hit it with suds let osmosis jones heal my tooth bones i don't mess around cuz novamin owns got my burt's bees paste so organic and my flouride paste vary how i'm attackin it brush 3 times a day clear that plaque away keep germs at bay its a listerene day the only three cavaties I ever want filled are in my hot lil dentist baby come here and get drilled cuz she'll canal your roots if you abuse your tooths her nice boobs don't mask the pain listen to the truth
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Warp 9 04:04
warp one that's when i flash my smile warp two we chit chat awhile warp three she smiles back at me and then we're out on the floor they say that's warp four warp five warp six i'm giving her all she's got warp seven just radiating hot warp 8 i brush her hair to the side when her lips touch mine that's warp 9 she's feeling lonely, like every guys an actor my crew beams in to relax and party after girls come around cuz we bring the laughter they say we bastards cuz we up on our prey like pastors i front a bit cuz I know love hurts and it's rare to find a chick that's down with captain kirk that'll love a man dancing in a dinosaur shirt so i play my position until they tired of jerks cuz other guys wanna be bullies so me and bo vice tip the dj cuz we wanna hear oldies a little johnny b goode mashed up wit Boyz in the Hood about to go and damn near went blind where i stood she loved the way I did the Marty McFly she says it's been years since guy that could slide past her defenses, put a smile on her face so I spin her around and we light up the space the worlds moving so fast, i see stars she could be my six i'm baltar i need a sword of omens to see if she lyin will we last forever or are we conan o'brien cuz i'm jumping ahead this might not last months but i can see us raising kids or even singing chipmunks i hope this doesn't go supernova just this once usually hit bunts i'm due for some home runs cuz i pimp hits, say baby sip this vip it for free, cool like the sickest kids poppin whippits, in benz merecedes that's really a 97 neon ha can i get a witness i'm kinda crazy and i'm sometimes late i'm from a dimenson where it's impossible to drive straight where we drift all day, cuz life's so great so take my hand babe, let's accellerate people say you need a spaceship with fresh nacells hyperdrive, navi-computer would work as well but in my t-16 back on tatooine i find my queen i cast my spell woo her at the cantina until she fell and me and this little princess would lay until the stars seemed to move on their own in space it's really just science just ask bryce case how we can move so fast just by standing in place how i can sing her this silly diddy and she don't mase how we can be blackjack i'm a two she's an ace she's a miracle berry no matter how sour life tastes it's so yum, when she gives me some when she first asked me my name i was like ummmmmmm my ship's name is Prince and she's like why I said, well I dunno, but it's a hell of a ride
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i'm stuck in line at the hottest new night spot it goes and goes forever wrapping all around the block there's lotsa bitches here there's lotsa dudes too there's bouncers out front what's this lil wayne sposed to do i could flash some cash or try to whoop some ass or go detective comics on em... and just just sneak past it's getting late all the bottle whores will be spoken for they'll be nothing left for me when i get my in the door so i spring into action back to the mansion gotta switch my style up then i'll kill it like a manson ditch the designer jeans grab a killer dark suit straight out a cave but it'll have to do ditch my rolys royce hop into a modified ford futura from old times and blast the turbine then i speed back through the empty streets and when i pull up all the bros scream and when I pull up all the hoes cream and when i pull up it's like a a fucking dream and when i pull up all the villains flee you got a dress code but i come dressed as me so i bat suit up I got my cape and my cowl on cuz tonight i'm here to party cuz i made the crime all gone i saved the city once i saved the city twice i saved it three times i deserve to skip the line so i bat suit up I got my cape and my cowl on cuz tonight i'm here to party cuz i made the crime all gone i ain't no superman but i saved the whole world now come here cutie bootie you can be my bat girl all you wannabes gangbangers and gun toters you think you run this place y'all a bunch of fucking jokers you got your bottle service you push a lot of weight one little wire transfer i'll fucking own this place you drunk and confident why not hit the batman you think your supervillians but you're just some henchmen we're up in VIP she's making lots of noise she's screaming out where does he get these wonderful toys then there's a bat signal shinin through the skylight the whole club just stops and stares but this is my night i'm drinking taquila i'm singing that new kesha tik tok on clock till it's time that I defeat ya it could be killer croc or the scarecrow it could be harley quinn or poison ivy but i'll never know it's a holiday, i got the night off someone else can handle it, maybe they can call the cops so I switch chicks this one's got no class plus she's a clayface she's the one that needs a mask cuz i've done catwoman bagged a beaumont i need some pedigree if you wanna ride the bat cock so i bat suit up I got my cape and my cowl on cuz tonight i'm here to party cuz i made the crime all gone she's wearing latex she's got her head bobbin my batphone rings but tonight immma leave it up to robin so i bat suit up I got my cape and my cowl on cuz tonight i'm here to party cuz i made the crime all gone i trained with ras al ghoul don't try this at home kids dj plays my theme song the whole club flips its lids
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credits

released August 14, 2012

Lyrics: Benjamin Garbe

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